Are you being Selfish?

By Richa Jindal

Photo by Pinterest

‘Selfish’ — what an instigating word, right? Let’s redefine it.

Think about all the people you’ve built relationships with, met, and spent time with. Are you still friends with all of them? Do you still have relationships with all of them? Probably not. Most of us have had that moment where we’ve taken a picture of our best friend and captioned it “my constant,” but who is your real constant? The one who you live with, share every moment with, who never leaves your side, who should always be there for you — yourself. From the day you are born to the day you die, you are with yourself, everyone else just comes and goes. So, be selfish.

Just like any important relationship, you need to invest in and nurture your relationship with yourself thoughtfully and patiently. Think about it, what are some essentials to make any good relationship? I can think of some: communication, trust, respect, loyalty etc. Are you giving yourself that? In a day we interact with a number of people, get busy with work, socialising and other commitments. On an average day, how much do you do solely for yourself? Do you ever take out three to four simple tasks that you thoughtfully do for yourself? I don’t. I barely did. Now, however, I’m trying, and it is making this sacred relationship stronger every day. And by default, I’m improving my relationship with those around me. You don’t have to take out the time to go on a solo date or any of that, you can find love and nurturing in the smallest decisions you make. Am I eating the food that nourishes my body and makes me feel good? Today I’m going to walk to class instead of taking the T to create some momentum and energy for myself. Which step in my skin care routine feels the best? I’m going to do it slower and pay extra attention to it when I do it next. What will make me feel good today? Maybe it’s making it to class or smelling your favourite scented candle — you Decide.

Being selfish comes naturally to us. You volunteer at an NGO – it makes you feel good about yourself. You sacrifice something for someone else, you feel like an altruist, which by society’s standards makes you award-winning material. It is, to some extent, a façade for social validation. If you really want to make a difference, be selfish. When you improve, those around you improve and on and on. Invest in yourself and the returns will be shared by you and the world.

Try it out, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Be mindful in the decisions you make for yourself, be selfish in every way. Let your friend be completely in love with and all about that guy or girl, but you, be completely in love with and all about yourself.

It is, by experience, life changing.