The Biggest Heartbreak

Why Platonic Break-Ups Hurt So Much More than Romantic

By Isabella Hobbs 

Heartbreak is a universal feeling depicted in many forms of media: movies, tv shows, books and songs. We witness the tearful, rainy break up scene while mourning over a tub of ice cream, fantasizing of what could have been, and all the stages of grief that follow. 

Many people have also experienced this pain in real life; the way it makes you question who you are anymore, how you’ve changed from the person you were before the relationship, how their actions shaped you, and what you could have done differently. 

But through all these media representations and personal experiences, we have also learned that no matter how devastating, transformative or seismic, you can heal. 

What we rarely see in the media is representation of friendship breakups, which I would argue are even more devastating. I think this is because among friends—specifically among girls—the common consensus is that romantic relationships come and go. 

Few people believe they will find their husband in high school or college. It is expected that there will be many heartbreaks along the way. But it is also expected that during this journey you will find your bridesmaids—your forever people. Unlike our assumptions about romantic relationships, we don’t expect platonic ones to end. 

But when that friendship you saw lasting for a lifetime does end, it feels as though a piece of your identity goes with it. That person saw every facet of you—every side that you hid from your romantic prospects. They saw you at your worst, celebrated with you at your best and were present in every good or bad moment along the way. 

True friendship does not require an act to impress them or win their love, they simply exist as a support system. 

There is no real cure for a friendship break up; like a romantic one, there is only time. It hurts at first, worse than the pain any guy could cause, and you will mourn the joy you had with them. 

And unlike romantic relationships, you can never move on and find someone new to fill that space in your life. Because every friendship is so unique and personal to both people, you just have to identify that that hole in your life will exist for a while before it closes. 

But like all things in life, it will heal. Although slowly and painfully, it will. 

The one thing you can never let it make you is closed off to new friendships. Female companionship is one of the greatest joys in life, and just because something might eventually end, does not mean you can’t savor it in the moment.