“I want a romcom, not a horror movie”:

What people should want in a relationship.

Sofia Galarneau 

Graphic by Charlie Tran

One of my least favorite activities is to talk about romantic relationships with friends; the simple reason is that romance is dead, and it depresses me to talk about it. 

When I was younger, I would watch movies like “The Proposal” or “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” and would picture my future relationships with my dream guy. 

He would make big public declarations of love, stare at me in awe just like Matthew McConaughey, or make me a theme song like Jack Black in “The Holiday.” 

Unfortunately for me, I must say none of those things has ever happened to me, and there is no likelihood of that happening for me anytime soon. 

These past few months, I realized Boston is a nightmare town for budding relationships. I often hear my friends complaining that they are never approached. When they are, the interaction is awkward, and they’re left uncomfortable. Instead, we settle for an Instagram follow or getting an additional Snapchat add.

Then, maybe things intensify when an Instagram story is liked, or a Snap gets replayed. 

And honestly, it feels immature. 

The story worsens once the situationship starts to form. Instead of feeling butterflies, you’re constantly on the verge of throwing up because you are trained to expect the worst. It’s like when you watch a horror movie, and you’re yelling at your screen, “Don’t go into the attic!” 

It is a constant feeling of “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” 

Will your situationship lose interest? Ditch you for someone else? Or simply embarrass you by making you look desperate?

When Vogue posted the article “Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?” it went viral because people connected with it. For me, the main fears for when a romantic situationship enters my life are the implications it will have on my identity. I fear I will no longer be viewed as an independent, opinionated person, but instead be viewed as boy crazy or unfocused. 

While this thought stems from patriarchal values, it is a legitimate fear. When you enter a relationship, it is natural to have priorities shift because there is a new addition to your life. There is a problem, however, when you start accepting less than what you deserve, and your life starts feeling like “American Psycho.” 

To combat the underworld of a situationship, you need to figure out what you want from a relationship instead of accepting what you think you deserve. It is about setting realistic expectations. 

You do not need to be showered in gifts every day, but you should receive basic communication. You do not need them to answer within two minutes, but they should also introduce you to their friends and not hide you. 

What I have learned is that you probably will never ask for too much. And, if your situationship makes you feel insecure about what you’re asking, then it is time to pack up your things and move on.

Trust me, you are better off alone because one day you will meet someone who will make you feel like you’re in a romcom…and you will laugh together about those old horror movies.