The Beauty of Having More Than One Best Friend

Despite what pop culture or social media tells you, having more than one best friend can actually make for a healthier, more balanced social life 

 by Isabella Hobbs 

Photo by Serenidy Ryan

Throughout middle school, high school, and even the first semester of college, I felt so much pressure to find my forever best friend—my future bridesmaid—just like all the TV shows I grew up watching had depicted. I saw Monica and Rachel, Blair and Serena, Summer and Marissa, and I dreamed about the day when I would find my ride or die. 

I always thought that having a bigger friend group meant that the relationships and bonds within that group must be weaker. 

It wasn’t until finding a social circle in college that I realized I couldn’t possibly imagine having one best friend when this group of women was all so equally important to me. 

Now, I realize there is a beauty to having multiple best friends, or in some cases, having friends for certain phases of your life. Quite frankly, the assumption that one person should meet all of your emotional needs is both unfair and puts a sense of pressure on your relationship. 

Don’t get me wrong, friends should be there for friends, but realistically, life happens, and sometimes school, work, or other responsibilities preoccupy people. 

Having a group of people to rely on rather than one person ensures that you never feel completely alone. 

It is okay to have one friend that you can get deep with, one friend that gives great advice, one friend that is always down for anything, and sometimes, if you’re lucky, you will get a group of friends that are all 3. 

It is also important to come to terms with the fact that friendships ebb and flow with phases of life. The people you were close with in high school most likely won’t be a big part of your life in college, but that doesn’t make the experience or their presence at the time any less special. Appreciate the bonds you have when you have them, but look forward to how many future best friends you could have that you haven’t even met yet. Again, contrary to friendship depictions in pop culture, just because something isn’t forever doesn’t make it less special. 

I didn’t find my forever people until I learned to invest equally in all of my friendships and let go of the idea that I only needed one best friend. 

That’s also when I realized that depth isn’t some innate thing that comes from having one best friend; friendships deepen due to the effort, time, and energy that you put into them. 

So, along the way, I stopped looking for one best friend, and instead formed a group of girls, from all different chapters and phases of my life, who show up for me time and time again.