Tinder Abroad

Problematic Situationship or Travel Goldmine

By Layan Boulon

Graphic by Katie-Ann Small

“Be a traveler. Not a tourist.”

Anthony Bourdain's wise words probably weren’t talking about downloading tinder upon landing in your next travel destination, but I would argue you should.

Traveling can be euphoric. Whether it’s eating the best chicken tagine you’ve ever had or climbing the highest mountain you’ve ever climbed, you’re free from the stressors of your life.

Before that, though, you had to plan. Itineraries are crucial to a trip's success. That doesn’t mean a minute by minute rundown—it can be deciding what day you explore or which day you check in and out from accommodations. Any planning you attempt however, can still feel inadequate in the face of niche spots posted online (with no tagged location of course). Choosing activities that strike the balance between touring and experiencing a place can thus be crippling.

In our hometowns, we know exactly where to get the best pizza, where to take the perfect sunset stroll, and the hottest spots to party. Simultaneously, we rarely visit the “tourist-y” spots. Maybe because we are bored with the familiarity, or because that five-star-rated restaurant could never compare to the unrated diner you visit at 1 a.m. with your friends. Manufactured hierarchies, established by Michelin stars or a TripAdvisor top 50 list lack the human quirks which make a place memorable and whimsical.

But how do we find these local gems? Another round of googling, or a more risque type of research? Insert Tinder.

Before you take out your passport stamped pitchforks and protest that Tinder perpetuates desperation and enables the hopelessly romantic and hopelessly horny to experience pseudo connection, hear me out. You’re on vacation. What better way to be a traveler than confronting your biases and maybe even confronting a couple catfishes while you’re at it?

Really, there’s only three ways this can go.

Number one: love match! Imagine you’re in Cordoba, Spain, and your family (yes this is a family trip) is slumbering away. But you’re eighteen, how could you not meet up with the cute match on Tinder at the Roman bridge where lanterns float like in Tangled. Twelve hours later, you’ve stayed up all night, had the best ice cream in the city that’s tucked in a corner outside the old city, and seen the perfect spot under the bridge next to the glittering water.

Even better than a tour guide, you got to talk to someone living an entirely different life than you, and pause time for a moment. How would you have known? You might’ve missed out on all these experiences because, what, the 6’2” Spaniard named Hugo might have kidnapped you? Please.

Number two: oh so he might’ve kidnapped you. In fairness, I cannot mention Tinder abroad, or anywhere, without relaying the unfortunate realities that unsafe dating app usage can bring. Because while I am the biggest proponent of meeting new people and better understanding the world through conversation, certain stories stop me from swiping right so quickly. Moral of the story—do not accept money, leave extreme expenses to a date, keep your friends near you, and always be aware of how to exit an unsafe situation.

Number three: bring your friends with you! I was staying in a coastal town for a few days. My friends and I had just shared a bowl of shaved ice when we huddled around an exciting notification from one of my matches.

“I'm downtown, want to meet up?”

It was nothing groundbreaking, but the idea of my two friends following me on a date, that was exciting. Tinder boy insisted on meeting by the “lovely atmosphere” of the beach and even asked for my location. Still, I wasn’t too worried because everywhere I turned I saw two familiar faces, sitting on a bench or peering around a corner.

He promised to make me a custom perfume if I ever saw him again (we’re actually still in touch). Tinder boy was an aspiring actor too. But by the fifth Instagram acting POV, I was more than ready to eat.

To my surprise, not only was he also a tourist, but he was in need of help finding a friend he’d lost earlier that day. So, romantic as ever, we searched the boardwalk for his friend. Meanwhile we talked about everything from relationships to our reasons for travel. Once we finally found his friend, the three of us, now really tired and hungry, picked a random spot to share a meal and some romantic tension. Waving goodbye to the pair, my friends lowered the menus hiding their gazes from across the restaurant. The waiter, who they’d told about my date turning into third wheeling, leaned in jokingly as I walked over, “at least he paid,” he whispered.

So either you find love and be a traveler, risk death, or end up being a tourist with your newfound situationship. All around, I’d say pretty good odds for Tinder abroad.